31 May 2005

I wanna be a rock star...

I wanna rock like a rock star. I wanna look like a rock star, dress like a rock star, fuck like a rock star, and drink like a rock star. And I'm not talkin' some homo-ass fuckin' rock bullshit, I'm talking full-brown, wild-ass Motley f'n Crue type rock.

But instead, I sit here, slightly intoxicated and eating EasyMac at 4:36AM. I probably won't go to bed for another 2 hours, at least, but probably 4 hours. 8AM sounds about right. Then I'll sleep until 3-4-5PM, get up, take a shower, and do nothing. Even though I really should look for a job and go workout...two things I desperately need to do, considering I'm flabby and out of shape and I have incurred a huge amount of debt suddenly.

And it's not important debt like "Oh, I bought a house" or "Oh, I bought a new car"...although I really wouldn't mind a car of my own, it'd be nice. It's not even "fun" debt like "I went balls out and had a $5,000 shopping spree for clothing and accessories!"

It's the "I'm a retard in college" debt. WHoO! =o(

As if things couldn't be any worse, everything else just seems to be crumbling around me. Jeff was just here for 4-5 days and we barely had a chance to hang out. No fond memories like last time he was here (Christmas)...no nothing. It was just stale. And then, IMO (which means I'm probably wrong), Frankie's been kinda weird the last week or two. I dunno. It just seems that as more time passes, we become less and less like "friends."

I'm so retardedly in love with a girl who lives in Chicago.

Even though it's a really stupid hobby, it bugs me that me and Frankie and Wendy (and whoever) never rap anymore. It was fun and a nice creative outlet.

Anyhee...enough pissing and moaning. Onto some fun stuff!


If you could own and run your own NBA franchise...what kind of team would you put together?


Sure, I could sit here and bullshit ya like "I'mma have KG, T-Mac, D.Wade, Shaq, and Steve Nash..." but I won't do that. So here is MY NBA team...

Starting Line-Up
C: Robert "The Tractor" Traylor
PF: Clarence Weatherspoon
SF: Corliss Williamson
SG: Brevin Knight
PG: Earl Boykins

Bench
6: Jim Jackson
7: Luol Deng
8: Rodney Rodgers
9: Oliver Miller
10: Shawn Bradley
11: Linton Johnson III
12: Jon Barry
IR: Nikoloz Tskitishvili

Coaching Staff
Head Coach: Chris Mullin
Assistants: Rik Smits, Scott Skiles, Lawrence Frank

Explanation
Okay, so you're probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with me, lol...my starting line-up features a front line that I like to call "Built Like A Brick Shithouse." Traylor, Weatherspoon, and Williamson are all short (in terms of their positions), stocky, thick dudes. The back court, then, is quite possibly the shortest back court ever. Knight's 5'10" and Boykins is an amazing 5'5". Now THAT is a starting line-up. Jackson is my sixth man because he's probably the best player listed here (sans Boykins). Sadly, I only would pick up Jackson so he can add another team to the list of teams he's played for...he'll probably be traded within a week or two. But I imagine he'll be back by the end of the season. ;)

I would bring Deng (pronounced "dang") onto my team just because I want to be able to go "DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENG, NIGGA!" everytime he does something cool. Rodgers and Miller are here because they also fit into the "Built Like A Brick Shithouse" concept I'm developing. (Although I believe Oliver Miller may be retired now.) I'd sign Shawn Bradley, just so I could watch him guard Boykins in practice every day.

I have absolutely no idea who Linton Johnson III is, but I'd take him just so I can design a kick-ass jersey that says something like "LJ3" or whatever. A sweet nickname will make up for the fact he sucks. Jon Barry's here as the 12th man just because I hate that fucker and want somebody to fire on a weekly basis. It'd be hilarious.

Finally, every team these days needs a European player that's either good (O.G. Toni Kukoc, or Manu Ginobli, etc.) or a European player that gets put on the IR and they REALLY REALLY HOPE he develops into something good in like 4 years. Meanwhile, then entire team/city/country changes the kid's name (i.e. "Predrag" to "Peja" Stojakovic). Therefore, I have enlisted the services of Nikoloz Tskitishvili (yes, he's really an NBA player, go to NBA.com and look him up!)...who will, once he develops into the new-age Toni, Peja, or Manu...be known as...

Nikki Shitsville!

C'mon now...close enough to his real name, but much easier to pronounce, no? The coaching staff should be a no-brainer...Chris Mullin, Rik Smits, Scott Skiles, and Lawrence Frank? Might as well call them "The Goofy Lookin' Whiter-Than-White Guys With Bad Haircuts."

Would we win alotta games? Probably not...but by God, I'd at least be thoroughly entertained, night-in and night-out.

And, in other completely non-NBA team related news, here's a promotional poster for WOW! That's What I Call Shitty Music Volume 37 which has been out for a year now!...err, well, 13 months to be honest. It's still getting hits and plays, therefore, it's still a success to me and I just wanted to give thanks, promote, advertise, give thanks, shamelessly plug, celebrate, and did I mention promote?


Click to enlarge Posted by Hello

WOW! 37's SoundClick Site
Hit it up, give it a listen, and don't be scared! We know we suck! ;) It's all in fun.