Where'd you go...

Where'd you go?

I miss you so

Seems like it's been forever

That you've been gone

-Fort Minor-

Where have I been, where has this crazy rollercoaster known as life taken me? I'll start at the end, because all good stories start at the end, then recount how they've reached that point.

My end was this evening, as I drove home from work. I had the window down and was completely in autopilot, just driving, and letting clips and snippets from the past, what, six or seven months? pass before my eyes. It wasn't a sad reflection, or a happy reflection, just a reflection on how I got here.

Looking back at my last post, I was quite happy and moving forward with my life. I had WrestleMania tickets, I had seen Motley Crue for a second time, and I had a girlfriend that I cared about a great deal. I was close to graduating. Lots of positives, I quoted an IM I had with Chris, that said "life is crazy" and I still stand by that statement, because look at where I've been since then:

The girlfriend I cared a great deal about, her name is Krystal, and she broke up with me sometime in mid-November. It was before Thanksgiving, that's all I remember, and it left me quite upset, as usual, because I feel as though I always wind up caring far too much about people that don't care back.

Also in November, I spent an evening with Frankie, it was his 22nd birthday and he invited me up to the bar with him and his buddies and it was great seeing him again. December proved to be a crazy month, as I got slapped with a speeding ticket. There was also another girl from work, Megan, that started showing an interest in me. I wasn't sure how to take it or react to it, but we eventually went on a date on December 23rd. I specifically remember that date because it was one year to the day that Jeff, Jennifer, Frankie, Wendy, and myself sat around at Okaboji Bar & Grill and had one of the best times I had ever experienced. It was fun, a neat experience, and I was glad I went out with her...but I wound up kinda/sorta dumping her. On Christmas Day. Please refrain from calling me a prick, I hadn't intended it that way.

About this time, I finished school, and I finished on a very high note, receiving good grades in all of my classes and managing to end my tenure with a cumulative GPA of 3.0. Such a relief to be done with that, I tell ya.

Going into the new year, ahh 2006, what would you provide me? I wound up scheduled with Megan for a string of shifts and began to warm up to her. She handled the whole "I can't do this" thing like a champ, she was friendly, and I started to come around...so mid-January, I had an excellent weekend that involved me and her getting together, and not only that, but I also found out that Jeff was getting discharged from the Navy and he (and Jen) would be home in a matter of a couple of weeks.

Wow.

His first weekend back, Frankie and I both went over to their house and chilled with them until like 3am, it was like none of us had missed a step together. Several weeks later, and it was Jeff's 23rd birthday, and once again we all hooked up...Jen's family, Tim and Marci, myself and Megan, and Frankie. We all went to dinner, then Jen, Jeff, Frankie, Megan, and I went bowling and overall, it was just a good time, and even after he had been back nearly a month, it hadn't quite sunk in that Jeff was back and we were celebrating his birthday together, the first time in like 3+ years I think.

Once again, I was happy. I was hanging out with Jeff on a fairly regular basis, but I still wasn't seeing Frankie and Tim all that often, but here and there...better than nothing. I was happy with Megan, we seemed to mesh together really well. But my life works in a cycle, I can have one or two good months and then there's a month that just comes up out of nowhere to shit all over me.

That month was March 2006.

In the span of a week, mid-month, Megan dumped me. Tim pulled out of our WrestleMania road trip, which left me with no way of getting to Chicago. And I was fired by the Science Center of Iowa.

I spent the next couple of weeks in a daze, not sure where to go with my life or what to do next. It goes to show, that in the snap of the fingers, everything you think you have can be gone. You don't have any kind of say in these matters, there's just a rug under your feet, and somebody else gives it a tug, and you're done. I was depressed, worried, angry, many things...but the light shining at the end of the tunnel approached:

WrestleMania weekend.

I won't bore you with too many details, but I wound up going to Chicago with my brother, mother, and step-dad. My parents did their own thing and allowed Scott and I do our own thing, which was cool, and I was relieved and happy. Friday night we attended Ring Of Honor wrestling with the SW Kliq (Greg, Patrick, Dan) from St. Louis...Walt from Baltimore...and Dee and Marina from right there in the heart of Chicago. It was awkward meeting people from the Internet, but we got along great, and had an absolute blast. I can safely say that I have a new life-long friend in Greg, the bond we shared was on the same level as my friendships with Frankie, Tim, and Jeff.

Saturday of that weekend, Scott and I drove into downtown Chicago for an autograph signing which proved to be fruitless, so we spent the rest of the day bumming around our hotel, eating Chicago-style pizza, and going to a mall nearby. Sunday, we met up with the SW Kliq and Walt (unfortunately, we never got to hang out with the girls again after ROH) and once again had an amazing time together, we even got heel heat from the line waiting to get into the building!

The show was off the charts, one of the best WrestleManias ever in my opinion, I have quite the collection of pictures from the show which I won't bore you with either.

Back home, I remained jobless and unsure of what came next for a couple of weeks. I landed a job at Prairie Meadows Racetrack & Casino, with the TV department, so I'm gaining career experience which is a double-bonus. I do less work and get paid more than I did at the Science Center, which is a plus, but it's part-time/seasonal, which is a minus. Just getting the job, and having something I can say I'm doing every couple of days, it's been a blessing. Motivation, ya know?

Things still aren't as wonderful as I feel they could be/should be, but I don't let it bother me at this rate. I'm beyond this petty day-to-day happiness bullshit, I think anyway, and I'm working on a longer term happiness. I hope, anyway. I keep telling myself that the long run is what matters, five or ten years from now, I'll be so happy and being 22 and depressed will be a distant, fading memory.

I finished Tommy Lee's autobiography today at work, I can relate to that guy so much, he's such a down-to-earth cat and can put into words (granted, with a co-author/ghostwriter/etc., but it's very much his voice) these feelings and situations, and how he can just look beyond, to something more. I can't explain it, but it's been very therapeutic.

Another interesting thing happened recently, I had an encounter with my "father," alongside Jeff and Jen. He was working for Marshalls department store, we did not know this, and went in to shop. A small scene ensued, mainly just him being loud, obnoxious, and derogatory and us remaining mature, leaving the store. Jeff and Jen spoke to the manager the following morning and as far as I know, my "father" was fired for his actions.

And despite being dumped, twice in fact, since my last entry, that doesn't slow me down in the least bit, apparently. I'm developing an interest in another young lady that I worked with at the Science Center, and my approach has been much more laidback than in previous outings. Going into previous relationships, I dreaded the build-up, the anticipation...what if she says No? Man, that would kill me.

No it wouldn't. It was the anticipation that was killin' me. If she says No, so what? It's out of my hands, at least I tried, and then ya move on about your business. Now, granted, I have yet to take this interest of mine to that point...I haven't asked her out, but I'm under the impression I will do it soon. And it's not bothering me, it'll just happen when I do ask, and then that's it. No worrying for weeks, all over a simple Yes or No.

So that brings me to now. That's where I've been. Where am I going next? I don't know and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll try to stop by and keep you updated on the happenings, but I can't guarantee anything.

In closing, here's what's been up with everybody else around me:

Jeff- discharged from the Navy, moved home, turned 23, working as a security guard (also at Prairie Meadows), and he's just as crazy as ever. I love that man. :)

Jen- moved home (with Jeff), working at the Science Center (I even trained her!, then again, I trained nearly everybody down there). Good to have her back around too.

Frankie- besides his birthday, Jeff's return, and Jeff's birthday...I've hung out with him once or twice more. We hit up a 3XW independent wrestling show, it's based here in Des Moines, which is cool even if I've only seen one show. He's engaged to Day now, cool for them. It's been almost a year since we started going our own ways, and I can probably count the number of times we've hung out on one hand (okay, maybe I'd need an extra finger or two). It's sad, but I don't hold a grudge or anything, we're boys and we always will be.

Wendy- working at the Science Center (trained her too!), about to graduate high school, still with Zach. Zach's got a job, too, after alot of searching...I'm happy for him, he deserves it. Wendy's still Wendy, she oughta work on that temper of hers.

Tim- living, working, growing old. lol. I don't see him much either, but I basically work his days off, and he works my days off...so we're opposite one another, and it doesn't help that he lives in Waukee and I'm on the southside. I think he's happy with things in his life, I certainly hope so, he deserves it too...and I'm here for my old man if he ever needs another Valentine's Day date (I'm referring to 2005, of course), LOL.

Everything else is hunky-dory, I guess you could say. There's my update. And just so you hear it here first, like I said, I don't know where I'm going next in life...but hopefully in the next however many years, you'll hear about an upcoming independent wrestling promotion here in the midwest, headed up by Greg and I, as we take professional wrestling into a new era of zaniness. That's our goal, one that I think we could accomplish. Some day.