Em-Eye-Aye

Yes, sorry about my not-so-brief hiatus. I had some computer issues that slowed me down for a couple months (plus I had nothing I really wanted to post about over here) and then I got a job, so I've been busy.

Well, not that school is back into the swing of things and I'm working in addition to that, I'm even busier...so what better time than to return to Blogger than now? =o)

Things have been, essentially, on a steady decline since Christmas. But it's to be expected...I believe I posted about Christmas on here, if not, the abridged version is that the week of Christmas was quite possibly the greatest few days I ever experienced. Euphoric is how I described it then.

But then Jeff returned to California, then had his share of issues...be them physical, mental, emotional, psychological, whatever. So Jen ended up joining him out there. Things seem to be going smoothly for them, as far as I know, and that's good. They came back in April/May (I forget which month it was, May I'm pretty sure) for Jeff's sister's wedding. Nothing really spectacular happened during their return, in fact, we didn't hang out all that much. Kind of disheartening, but it'll be fine.

Frankie and Wendy finally split up for good in July, and by cutting off all communication with my sister, Frankie essentially put me on the back burner and it got to the point where I felt ignored and betrayed, so we are - more or less - no longer friends. He'll always be my friend and I'm quite sure we can fix things later down the road, but right now he's got his people and his places and his things and I'm not a part of that. And while I'm not opposed, obviously, to people having other friends and the like...I also refuse to play second fiddle. And by "second fiddle" I don't just mean less important, or we don't hang out 24/7, or anything like that. I'm not selfish. But it's always a case of people assuming I'm okay with them ignoring me for long periods of time or people using me for other things or people just doing distrustful things. I don't stand for any of that shit and if you're not gonna be up-front and not be my friend, if you're just going to be a "friend"...then uh-uh, not happenin'. This has happened with a few people before, including Jeff, where things just had to stop "being" after awhile...

Tim lived with us from November through August...just a few days ago, in fact. He got married a couple weeks ago to this cool chick he met from the Chicago area. Last week, we went over there, and helped her (and her daughter) move over to the Des Moines area. That move was an interesting tale in itself, perhaps I'll share it in a future blog...but anyway, that means Tim's gone from my house and he's moving on with his life. I hope it works out, we'll obviously still keep in touch and chill, but it won't be the same as having him sleeping in the same room as me (in a separate bed, mind you, you sick fucks!).

Wendy seems to be hanging out with trashier and trashier people. My uncle and I believe she'll move out of the house before the school year is over (she's a HS senior). The sad thing is, I envision her getting in some bad trouble before long, but it's impossible to tell her otherwise.

Speaking of this, as I said, "my uncle and I believe..." - what this is derived from is one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had, as Tim and I drove over to Chicago for that move last week. It took us about 5.5 hours to get over there and it was seriously the coolest road trip ever (well, me and him always have cool road trips...). We talked alot about him growing up, me growing up, discussed parents and grandparents, his ex-wives, delved into issues between Frankie and me, Frankie and Wendy, and people in general. It made the trip and the time pass by so well and it just made me feel good to know that somebody else thinks and feels along the same vein as I do. In summation...

Awesomest. Conversation. Ever.

So, in a sense, life kinda sucks. I wish things were different. The D-Town Mafia is no more (the rap group, or just the "group" of us). The Fuck Off Posse is in shambles (well, "shambles" is a little harsh, we'll still tight, just split geographically). We still haven't gotten FOP tattoos, although we really should.

On the bright side, I'm pretty positive about everything that's to come. This is my last semester of classes...EVER. I'm making some decent money at work. I have plans to attend WrestleMania 22 in Chicago this coming April...and by hook or by crook, I shall be there, because that has the potential to be another series of days that could be as euphoric as Christmas was. My friends from STL, the SW Kliq - Greg, Dan, and Pat - are already set to go, they got a travel package. My friends from Chicago, Dee and Marina, will be around to hang with and they're planning on going to the event as well. My uncle's interested in going. And my friend, Walt, from Baltimore is down for going. So why the fuck not, let's get together and have a blast.

There's another Motley Crue concert to attend, too. We went to one here in Des Moines this past April...now we're going to one in Sioux City on Oct. 16th. That's the last show of the U.S. leg of the tour, so hopefully it rocks hard.

I'm thinking about getting a car this fall, or early winter, whenever possible. Of course, that entails getting a loan. But I have no credit history, so my mom would have to cosign. I'm sure she'd be okay with that, up until I decide (shortly after I get a car) to move out. D'oh. On top of the loan issue, then there's insurance. And then maintaining the car, keeping it clean, and paying for gas (which may require another loan if things keep going at the rate they are now, $2.40/gallon?!).

Anyway, as mentioned in that paragraph, there's temptation to move out as well. I first need a car to do so, because my grandparents would - in all likelihood - cut off access to their car for me. So I'd need a way around. But all this "groundbreaking" change is sure to ruffle the feathers of my mom and grandparents, so I'm preparing for the storm, because shit'll be going down no later than the beginning of the year (barring any unforeseen circumstances).

Ultimately, though, I must move out. In fact, I have to leave Iowa all together. Not because I dislike it here, I actually like it quite a bit. But I must leave in order to find television production work. I'd rather not do the local news, and outside of that, there isn't much in terms of local work in that field. So I have to get the ball rolling this fall/winter, so by the beginning (or end, depends) of next summer, I can get out of this state and find a real job.

Finally, I don't know what this has to do with anything...except more of the reminiscing I did earlier in the post. Tonight, I was driving home from my night class (the professor's a real trip, I think I'll enjoy this class, I laughed the whole way through), and I had the window down because it was so nice out today. Well, this reminded me of a couple of summers ago. May 2003, I'm guessing. Jeff and I were going to a park, following the rest of his family in Jeff's car, we were just goin' out to chill and toss a football around, etc. And we were on our way there, windows down, great weather...and we were listening to Nelly's Country Grammar album.

Now, anybody that knows me, knows that I love Nelly. Call it a guilty pleasure, I dunno, but he's sweet and that's all there is to it. We picked up this album back in '99/'00 (whichever year it came out) and played it out like crazy. Then it faded out (for me, anyway), as did Nelly in general. Sure, I still liked him and I liked Nellyville, but it just wasn't the same.

Well, this car ride, I fell in love with the album all over again. I think I ended up going out and purchasing it for myself the following week. But the reason I love it so much and the reason it always reminds me, specifically, of this day...is just because it really makes me appreciate the good times and appreciate the people around me. Jeff and I didn't even have to talk during that car ride, we just turned the tunes up, and rolled the windows down, and we (well, I did, anyway, LOL) enjoyed ourselves immensely. Nothing special happened, it was just a car ride with nice weather, good music, and good moods.

Doesn't sound like much in text, but as I said, for whatever reason, I always remember that ride. I miss moments like that and I hope, some day, we get to re-experience moments like it.

Much love (to those that matter),
2Fingaz,
J.Cizzle

(P.S. - I'm still single and growing more annoyed with the opposite sex with each passing day. I used to be interested in actually having a meaningful relationship, and still am (to a much lesser extent, though), but it's getting to the point that I just want some bitches to grudge-fuck every now and then. You apparently have to be classified as an absolute jerk or a borderline faggot to get a girl these days, so I guess I'll just have to up the asshole ante, because there's no way in hell I'm going to wear girls' jeans and style my hair with a blender.)